If you are asked which of the children you love more, most likely you will answer: “I am the same about everyone”. And be indignant, they say what parent should be to allocate favorites? But there are a lot of such families, and you should not hide it, the psychiatrist Tradesi Asamoa believes.
Studies of different years confirm what we actually have long suspected-most fathers and mothers have favorites. It doesn’t matter what caused this attachment – the order of birth, gender or common interests. And yet parents continue to deny everything and are tormented by guilt. Even if the preference that you provide to one of the children is not so obvious, his sisters usually notice who adults identify.
It is not surprising that the consequence of such an attitude – real or partly felt by the child – is family conflicts, a disorder of behavior and depression. Actually, the point is not that you love one of the children stronger. Most likely, something inside you resonates with the personality of one child more than with the personality of another. In fact, this is a matter of similarity. Why then it’s so difficult for us to recognize this fact?
Some parents may disturb if they will cause the harm to the psyche of another child. Others confuse sympathy for the personality of one child with love, which they express
in relation to all children. Some parents believe that the open recognition of the favorite will inevitably lead to discrimination of other children. Still, try to admit the idea that you have the right to experience great attachment to one child. Awareness of true motives and aspirations is definitely able to improve the situation in the family and improve relations with children.